I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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