god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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