Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
