My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
