I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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