they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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