if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
