You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
