We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
