just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
