you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
