fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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