i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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