Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
