get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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