I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
