why didn't you poke me back
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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