the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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