Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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