Umm I'm too high to move.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
