I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
