Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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