is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
