i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
