I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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