So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
