A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
