I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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