honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
