just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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