Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
