Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I just shit out all my problems.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
