I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
love makes seman taste better
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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