Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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