i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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