Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
