Well apparently he's into motor boating.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
