whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
