if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think my vagina is haunted
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
