Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Someone came in the potted fern
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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