You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
