He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
