Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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