I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
