I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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