She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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