Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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