just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
