I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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