I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
