He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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