It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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