i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
